When Plans Fall Apart… Try This Instead
Things don’t always go to plan, but instead of spiralling, get curious and get creative.
I used to get really upset when things didn’t go my way.
If plans changed or someone was late, it could ruin my whole mood. Sometimes I’d even cry. (A bit dramatic… but very real at the time.)
Now? I see it differently. Most things are out of our control. And the more we resist that, the harder life feels.
I recently heard someone explain that engineers build flexibility into things like airplanes and buildings because rigid structures break under pressure. Humans aren’t that different.
The more flexible we are… the more we can handle.
My “dream trip” that… wasn’t
Recently, I worked remotely from Vancouver while dog-sitting for a friend.
In my head, it was going to be perfect:
Beautiful nature.
Long walks with a dog I love.
Exploring the city.
A dreamy little working vacation.
Reality?
Not quite.
The car had issues. I couldn’t go more than 10–15 minutes without worrying it would break down.
The dog was reactive, so walks were… stressful instead of “good for the mental health”.
Downtown Vancouver wasn’t what I expected. And the traffic? Wow. People are not exaggerating!
Even the bed aggravated a chronic back injury.
By day five, I was spiralling a bit. “How am I going to do this for two more weeks?”
The Shift
Then I caught myself.
I stepped back and asked: What’s actually in my control here?
With the help of some amazing local friends, I found workarounds. I adjusted expectations. And I let go of what I couldn’t change.
And slowly… it got better.
What I gained (that I never expected)
This trip wasn’t what I wanted, but it gave me something else:
Clarity.
I don’t want to live in Vancouver .
Having a dog doesn’t fit my lifestyle right now.
I’m definitely a city person, not suburbs.
Close friends nearby? Non-negotiable!
Not the outcome I planned… but honestly? Incredibly valuable.
Try this when things aren’t going your way
Next time life throws you a curveball, try this:
1. Write it all out
Get everything that’s bothering you out of your head and onto paper. I swear writing things down solves many of my problems.
2. Label it: in your control or not
Simple ✔️checkmark or X.
3. Decide your next move
If it is in your control → make a plan
If it’s not → choose how you’ll frame it or let it go
Here’s my list:
It’s simple, but it works. It turns chaos into clarity.
This Week’s Dare
I dare you to do this exercise this week.Take the thing that’s been looping in your mind at 2am…Write it down. Sort it. Decide. No more silent spiralling.
Resource: If you want to lean into this more there is a book called Emotional Agility by Susan David. The main theme is learning to respond to life instead of reacting to it. Stop fighting reality, get curious about your reactions, respond intentionally. (Full disclosure: I haven’t read it yet but I have it on hold at the library! )
💌 If this helped you shift your perspective even a little, send it to someone who might need it too.